The Price of Admission

Lately I’ve been thinking about fairness, or rather its opposite. How it’s not fair that people we love die. Or that fascist leaders are calling the shots. Or that the world literally and figuratively burns so a few companies can increase their profits. It’s not fair.

If you’re anything like me, in response to, “It’s not fair,” someone invariably says, “Life isn’t fair,” as if that makes the situation better. The inherent message behind “life isn’t fair” is “deal with it.” But what if I don’t want to deal with it? What if I don’t want to toughen up and accept the unfairness of it all? What if I’d rather curl into a ball and whimper like a wounded animal? Can I do that instead?

This year has been absolutely gut-wrenching for numerous reasons. NUMEROUS. I’m over this year. I want something new, and yet wanting isn’t enough. As they say, faith without works is dead. I’ve also heard that pain is the price of admission into a new life. Ouch. Say it ain’t so, but it is.

Add  Our tickets are metaphorical. Photo by Mak on Unsplash 

When I think about creating something new – art, a business, a life even – there’s often an element of pain, or at least hardship. Rarely is the creation process smooth sailing from start to finish. There are usually obstacles to overcome, hurdles to clear. Maybe this period we’re in, maybe this year, is the admission price we’re paying for a new way of life.

It seems to me humanity is being forced to change on numerous fronts. It’s become clear we cannot maintain the status quo because doing so equals death and destruction. Change isn’t easy, and frankly sometimes it sucks, but I have to believe everything we’re enduring is leading to something better. It’s the only way I can keep going, to continue putting one foot in front of the other. I’m also choosing to believe my spiritual teacher who said, “[A] bright future awaits you. Your future is glorious, your future is luminous, your future is effulgent.”

He describes himself as an incorrigible optimist and also said, “Human civilization now faces the final moment of a critical juncture. The dawn of a glorious new era is on the one side, and the worn-out skeleton of the past on the other. Humanity has to adopt either one or the other. You are the spiritual soldiers; you are the worshippers of life divine. Hence, I call upon you to adorn this crimson dawn deluged with glorious light. Victory is surely yours.”

We’re not on the other side of the fight yet. The world remains unfair, but slowly, in certain places, we’re moving in that direction. For instance, in Portland companies must pay a 10% tax surcharge if their CEO earns 100 to 250 times more than the median-paid worker. That number jumps to 25% if the CEO makes 250 times more than the median-paid worker. The law only applies to Portland, but other places like San Francisco are considering similar laws. Laws like these are a start and show me if we keep striving for a fairer society eventually it will happen.

I dream of a world that’s fair and just. A world that considers what’s in the best interest for the planet as a whole. A world where we realize the impact of our actions and adjust accordingly. A world where we understand sometimes pain is the price of admission into a new life.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

What a Difference a Day Makes

I can’t speak for everywhere, but life in the Bay Area is pretty apocalyptic right now. On top of the pandemic, we also have a heatwave, rolling power outages, and 367 wildfires. Things are pretty bleak. However, instead of feeling constantly scared and depressed, I notice my mood vacillates. On Saturday, air quality improved to moderate as opposed to unhealthy. I opened my windows for the first time in days and let a cool breeze circulate inside my apartment. The inside temperature dropped from 86 degrees to a more manageable 78.

One of the things that prompted the most anxiety is wondering what I would do in the event of an evacuation. I don’t have a car. Would I have to hitch a ride with one of my neighbors? And where would I go? If I have to evacuate, all my local friends will likely have to evacuate as well. In that case, where would I stay? I mentioned all this to a friend of mine and he promised if we have to evacuate, he will drive over and pick me up. Hearing that, I felt better.

What does this picture have to do with anything? Nothing. It's pretty. Photo by daniel plan on Unsplash

I mention all this because seeing my mood oscillate reminds me not only are emotions like that, but also life in general. Change can happen rapidly. A day can make a huge difference. Even in regards to these wildfires, a storm is headed our way, and if it’s a wet one instead of a dry one, the fires will diminish. I’ve been singing a rain song my spiritual teacher provided multiple times a day to encourage rain, but only time will tell if it helped.

However, even if it doesn’t rain soon, it will rain eventually. And the firefighters will eventually extinguish the blazes. My hope of course is sooner rather than later but regardless, a lot can happen in a day, in an hour, in an instant. Nothing remains static.

According to my spiritual philosophy, the Sanskrit word for the universe is jagat, and jagat comes from the root verb meaning “to move.” My spiritual teacher says, “Here in the universe, nothing is stationary, nothing is fixed. Everything moves; that’s why this universe is called jagat. Movement is its dharma; movement is its innate characteristic.”

Nothing is permanent. Nothing lasts forever. And between one day and the next, a lot can happen for better or for worse. When I’m having a down day, when I smell smoke drifting in from outside, when I wipe a layer of ash off my mailbox, I have to remind myself not only that this, too, shall pass, but also that life can improve at any moment. Sometimes hope is the only thing that can keep us going. It’s my wish that we all find some hope to hold onto while we traverse the catastrophes we’re enduring.

I dream of a world where we realize a lot can happen in an instant, an hour, a day. A world where we remember the universe is always moving and nothing lasts forever. A world where we hold on to hope for a better future because we remember what a difference a day can make.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

The Interdependence of Life

On Sunday, a rare thunderstorm ripped through the Bay Area sparking wildfires because we’re also in the middle of a heatwave. On the one hand, it surprised me because, again, it’s rare to see rain in August, and on the other hand it pissed me off.

I’m angry because to me this is just another indication of climate change. Some people might say, “The weather is a mystery. We’ll never know why anything happens,” but in my opinion that’s naïve at best and malicious at worst. Everything we do has an effect. It’s a law of nature that for every action there’s a reaction. Why do human beings think they’re immune when it comes to planet Earth? That our actions don’t have consequences?

I watched an inspiring documentary on Hulu, The Biggest Little Farm, that shows how one thing is connected to another. I won’t give away any details because I don’t want to spoil any surprises, but here’s an example unrelated to the movie. The deer population in the U.S. is skyrocketing because human beings overhunted their natural predators: wolves, mountain lions, bears, etc. You know what happens when there are too many deer? Traffic accidents for one, an increase in Lyme disease for another, although there are other factors at play with Lyme disease as well.

Looks so cute! But also must be kept in check. Photo by Delphine SCHIEB on Unsplash

 

When I see people denying climate change, I’m enraged because it’s like they would rather bury their heads in the sand than take any sort of responsibility for what’s happening in the world. It’s easier, and frankly lazier, to come up with conspiracy theories than work to make any sort of real change.

Also, we as a society in the U.S. anyway seem hellbent on maintaining the status quo rather than curbing the behavior of those responsible for climate change. I say “those responsible for climate change” because did you know 100 companies are to blame for more than 70% of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions? Only 100 companies! Yet researchers at Harvard and Yale are talking about spraying chemicals into the atmosphere to dim the sun because that seems more feasible than telling 100 companies to change their ways.

I realize scientists aren’t policymakers – they’re researchers, so of course they’ll research ways to combat climate change, but still. I find it ludicrous that we’re discussing something so outrageous as DIMMING THE SUN rather than forcing those 100 companies to curtail their greenhouse gas emissions. Not because we’re appealing to the goodness of their hearts, but because we have regulations with teeth.

Let's leave this alone, shall we? Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

  

What this all comes back to for me is a perspective and philosophy espoused by my spiritual teacher, which is taking into consideration the welfare of all living beings – not just human beings. He said, “We have recklessly destroyed large areas of forests without caring to think that thereby we are destroying the balance among the human, plant, and animal worlds. And we never realized – and still do not – that this wanton destruction of the animal and plant worlds will be of no benefit to human beings. Rather it will be a great loss for human society, because each and every living entity, whether plant or animal, has two types of value: one, its utility value, and the other, its existential value.”

I could write a whole other blog about existential value, but for now, I want to point out again that we are all interconnected, we are interdependent. What happens in the plant and animal worlds affects human beings and vice versa. And when we operate with that idea in mind, the entire world is better for it.

I dream of a world where we remember all of our actions have consequences. A world where we think of not only ourselves, but all living beings. A world where we do our best to act as caretakers for our planet because we understand every living being has value, even if we don’t know what it is.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Adapting is What We Do

This weekend as I ran various errands, it occurred to me how normal it feels to wear a mask and stand six feet away from everyone. If someone closes the distance between us, I take a step back, almost automatically. I’m reminded how we human beings can become accustomed to almost anything. That’s not always to our benefit of course – there are some things that are harmful and it behooves us not to become accustomed to them, but nonetheless, adaptability and resilience are our strengths.

We see this in nature as well, which I find inspiring. Most of you probably already know this because murder hornets first hit the U.S. news cycle in May, but if a murder hornet scout enters a hive of Japanese honey bees, they will swarm the scout and begin vibrating their wings. The vibrating ball of bees generates enough heat and buildup of carbon dioxide inside the ball that it cooks and suffocates the hornet, according to a study. I know that’s kind of gross, and why am I even mentioning it? Because nature adapts, it fights against threats. And so do humans.

We adapt and fight against threats by changing our behaviors – like wearing masks around each other – but also this is what our bodies are made to do. Immune systems, for the most part, fight off pathogens. I know not everyone has a body that works that way, which is what it means to be immunocompromised, but generally speaking, our bodies respond to threats like viruses and bacteria and mount a defensive response.

Not *quite* a murder hornet, but it's a hornet. Photo by Duncan Sanchez on Unsplash

I notice in myself one part of me is terrified of getting COVID-19 because I assume it will be terrible and maybe I’ll kill someone because I’ve spread it to them, and then another part reminds me that may not happen. It could, that’s why I’m being cautious, but the vast majority of people who contract COVID-19 recover. WebMD says the recovery rate is anywhere between 97% and 99.5%. Our bodies for the most part know how to fight this virus. Not without consequences of course because some people have lung damage or brain damage as a result of the virus, according to the BBC. But still, mostly we’ve got this.

Do I think we should throw caution to the wind and return to the way things were pre-pandemic? No, because even if the death rate is 1%, when you take into account the size of the population, that can still be a lot of deaths. The United States is a perfect example of that. My spiritual teacher says, “Those who are reluctant to adapt themselves to the changed circumstances are doomed to destruction.” Yep. Pretty much. We can’t pretend our circumstances have remained the same, and at the same time, we must also recognize that we can, have, and will adapt.

My spiritual teacher also says, “You should always remember that you are in a world of passing shows, moving panorama. No picture, no position, no stance shall remain as they are just at present. That is, everything will change, everything is to undergo changes, and you should be ready to adapt yourself, to adjust yourself with those changed phases.”

My experience from this weekend shows me that we as a society, for the most part, are ready to adapt to changed phases. We adjust our actions and reactions because we as a species seek to survive. If we don’t adapt, we die, like the European honey bees who have no defense against murder hornets. I, for one, am willing to change and I hope you are too.

I dream of a world where we understand we have to adapt to circumstances in order to survive. A world where we realize nothing stays the same and we must constantly adjust accordingly. A world where we trust in our nature to fight against threats and realize adapting is what we do.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Take a Break

When I thought about what to write today, the answer that came to me was, “Take a break.” I think it’s both a missive and a message, meaning, I need to take a break, but also other people need to take one too. I can’t speak for anyone else, but for myself, I notice right now with so many things happening in the world, so many issues vying for my attention, it feels irresponsible to take a break. That instead I must be firing on all cylinders all day every day. I think it’s in part because there’s that pressure in the external world, but also in part because it’s how I’m made.

I am a fire sign. Not just astrologically (I'm a Sagittarius), but also my ayurvedic dosha is pitta. I want to do all the time. Resting is the complete antithesis of my natural tendencies but it has become clear to me resting is of the utmost importance.

Back in 2013, I was reading Christine Arylo’s Madly in Love with ME and she advised every morning putting your hand on your heart and asking, "What do I need today?" or "What do I need to receive today?" Today anyway, the answer is “take a break.” She also advises conducting an energy check-in to gauge how full your energy tank is. My energy level today is a 10. Christine says don't give of yourself unless your energy tank is at 75-100.

One of these sounds great right now. Photo by Urip Dunker on Unsplash

 

I've gotten better at it over the years, but there’s still a part of me that pushes myself to do everything, anything. As soon as my energy tank gets even a little full, I empty it completely. That’s not something I want for myself. I want to be full of energy. I want to break free of all the mental prisons I've constructed for myself. I want liberation from the darkness and I want my magnificence to shine brightly.

I’m reminded of the butterfly here and how I, too, want to flit from place to place, soar high in the sky, and dance with other butterflies. However, in order to become a butterfly, I need to cocoon sometimes because unlike the butterfly, transformation is not a one-time thing for me. I feel like I’m constantly transforming, which would make sense given all the fire energy in my being because if you watch a fire, it’s constantly changing. And fires if they’re not tended to also reach a point where they burn out.

I need to shore up my energy, allow myself time to rest, to say no to things that drain me. I need to focus on myself so that I can become a butterfly. So I can help other people. So I can be of service. So I can live the bright and exciting life I've always dreamed of.  It's incredibly difficult for me to cocoon, to withdraw my energy from the world, to concentrate on me and only me. It feels wrong and selfish and uncomfortable. If I don't do this, however, I'm going to remain a caterpillar and I don't want to do that.

I'm writing this blogpost because I'm sure there are other people out there like me who are running themselves ragged, especially right now when the tools that used to be available to us are either nonexistent or severely limited. Regardless of what’s happening in the world, we deserve to rest because we are not machines (and even machines aren't running all the time). We deserve to receive as much as we give. We deserve to take time out. Sometimes we need to cocoon so we can serve the world in an even bigger way.

I dream of a world where we all take a break when we need it. A world where we balance giving and receiving. A world where we love ourselves so much, we treat ourselves with care. A world where we know in order to turn into a butterfly we have to go into a cocoon.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.