The Cushy Life

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I want to be as comfortable as possible. Give me air-conditioning and memory-foam mattress toppers and fast internet. I want my surroundings to be as cushy as I can make them. After I've worked so hard to make my life comfortable, at the very end of the day, if I have any energy left over, then I might think about other people. This is not good.

There's nothing wrong with taking care of myself, with putting myself first, because if I don't no one else will, but striving for a cushy life means I don't tolerate discomfort at my expense. And it takes more and more for me to feel comfortable. Like the princess and the pea who slept on a hundred mattresses and could feel the pea stuck between the bottom two. This focus on me has made me a little self-centered. My mindset of late has been, “What can you do for me? What can I get from you?”

A cushy life is great and all, but I'd much rather have a blissful one.

Friends, this is no way to live and does not lead to any sort of fulfillment. My spiritual teacher says the formula for bliss is service minus information. I have been decidedly low on service and high on information, so of course I'm not feeling bliss. Some people have a disdain for information, calling it useless, but that's not true. Information is only useless if it's not applied. Information is like fruit in a bowl. The fruit is only good if I eat it. Right now, instead of using all the fruit in my bowl, it's going to waste.

Service is the key to keeping my fruit from rotting. There's a different mindset around true service. I serve others because it's fun and it's free, not because I get any benefit, although that's a nice perk. When I serve others out of a sense of obligation or because I “should,” it's no longer service and instead a recipe for resentment. Service starts with a shift in mentality from “me, me, me,” to “we, we, we.” And when I shift my perspective, opportunities to serve present themselves, from giving someone a ride to the airport, to holding the door open for someone, to starting an orphanage.

Service often gets relegated to that one weekend of the month volunteering for so-and-so, but I'm finding it's important to make service a part of my daily life. I'm such an extreme person that I think service has to be a grand affair. It doesn't. Service starts in the mind, and that means thinking of others. My challenge right now is to serve myself and to serve others. I have a tendency to be “all or nothing,” so I need to not overextend myself too much. A little bit of stress leads to growth; a lot of stress leads to illness and injury. A cushy life is great and all, but what is it costing me? Maybe my life needs to be a little less cushy and a lot more service-oriented. After all, bliss feels a lot better than comfort.

I dream of a world where we serve each other. A world where life is a little less “me, me, me” and more “we, we, we.” A world where instead of striving for a cushy life, we strive for a blissful one.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

Mind Blowing

What is the point of meditation? Why do people do it? Some people say they meditate because they want to calm down, or concentrate better, or lower their blood pressure. These are all great reasons, but I view them as side benefits. The real point of my meditation practice is to blow my mind.

I heard a discourse the other day that said when we contemplate the infinite our brain short circuits and that's what causes liberation. Liberation in this sense means my consciousness becomes one with the Cosmic Consciousness. Something about hearing that discourse, which I've paraphrased, really struck me because it's true.

My mind can't comprehend infinity. In fact, my mind can't even comprehend a billion. I don't know what a billion looks like, even when it's broken down into an analogy such as, “A billion pencils would wrap around the Earth's equator twice,” or whatever. All I know is that a billion is a big number.

The mind, like a balloon, can only expand so much until it pops.

However, by thinking about infinity, my mind gets blown. My mind can't conceive of infinity, my mind expands, and I experience liberation. It's like a balloon – the balloon can only blow up so much before it pops. In other words, the point of meditation is to pop my mind like a balloon. This is a fairly universal concept, by the way. In Zen Buddhism, koans are employed for this purpose. An example of a koan is, “What's the sound of one hand clapping?” The point of koans to me seems to be to exhaust the analytic intellect and the ego to get to the “God mind” underneath. We all have an intuitive self, a “God mind” if you will, and the point of meditation is to keep growing that God mind until the God mind is all that's left.

I have to say, contemplating the sound of one hand clapping would frustrate me to no end. I think I would sputter in rage and frustration and never try such deep rumination again. Thank goodness I don't have to because I have a mantra. A mantra in the original sense of the word, means a word or phrase that liberates the mind. This would be a word or phrase to blow the mind, if you will. Popular mantras these days are Om Namah Shivaya, Hare Krsna, etc. because the thinking is if a person meditates on God-like beings, Shiva and Krsna, namely, that the person's mind will expand, and they too, will experience liberation.

What's cool about this is I don't have to die first or be a different person before I can experience liberation. Liberation happens because I focus on the infinite in the form of a mantra. That's pretty mind blowing when you think about it.

I dream of a world where we all blow our minds. A world where we are no longer limited by our human brains. A world where we keep progressing and keep expanding internally until there is no longer a container that can hold us.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

Won't You Stay?

I live in a very transient area. People move here and move away all the time. It's one of the most painful aspects of living here, especially for a person like me who clings to people like a barnacle. “Don't leave me! Stay!” Except, the thing is, even if a person is physically present, it doesn't mean they're emotionally present, or that they'll be emotionally present all the time. Well crap. What's a person to do?

I'm going to pass on a secret: Be there for yourself. Counter to all the messages we're being fed, the solution to fears of abandonment is not to find that one perfect person to spend the rest of our life with. The solution is to give that to ourselves. To say to myself, “Rebekah, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I'm not ever going anywhere. I'll stay.” People, and pets for that matter, come into and out of our lives, but the two constant presences are ourselves and the Supreme. My spiritual teacher says God is our one true friend, our constant, forever companion. But how often are we nurturing these relationships? How often are we instead taking them for granted?

Won't you stay? Oh, I have to be there for me? Oh, right.

One of the most powerful messages I've gleaned from being in recovery is that I'm in a relationship with my Higher Power. That God is not Santa Claus, rewarding me when I'm good and punishing me when I'm bad. And that just like any other relationship, we need to spend time together to improve it. We need to communicate with one another, to talk and to listen. It's easy to neglect the relationship because it's always there, to take it for granted, but I'm reminded again, it's one of the most important relationships in my life.

The other most important relationship in my life is the one with me. Am I here for me? Am I taking care of me? Am I treating myself like a friend? Saying nice things to myself, encouraging myself, forgiving myself for mistakes? My inclination is to turn outward, to focus on outside relationships, other people, what they're doing, what they're saying, how they feel. My meditation practice, however, is about turning inward, asking instead what am I doing, what am I saying, how do I feel?

A few weeks ago I went to a group meditation and I'm the only one that showed up. I know, that sounds weird because if no one showed up then it was solo meditation, but the intention was to meditate with others. I felt so awkward, sitting in a space that belongs to a friend, meditating alone when usually I'm surrounded by others. But then the awkwardness faded as I felt the presence of my Higher Power, and the presence of me. Instead of being by myself, I was with myself. No longer did I feel alone because I had me and I had my Higher Power. It was one of the sweetest meditations I've experienced for awhile. So in answer to the question, “Won't you stay?” the answer is yes, Rebekah, I will.

I dream of a world where we develop the relationships with ourselves and with the divine. A world where we feel the presence of us and something greater than us. A world where we remember we are never alone because we have our one true companion by our side.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable. 

The Good and Evil Tug of War

I've been thinking about good and evil a lot lately. Maybe because I'm re-watching Star Wars with friends. What I find interesting is how so often people liken the forces of good and evil as a devil or angel on our shoulder where one force eventually wins out. I think good and evil is more nuanced than that, and liken each to either end of a tug of war battle. That also means when a person is closer to the middle, as in neither side has a clear victory, both sides tug harder for dominance. This isn't just speculation, by the way, I notice the good and evil tug of war manifesting in the real world. Not only as a voice in my head, but in tangible ways.

For example, here's something that happened earlier this week that's not evil, but was clearly not engaging with the force of good. I noticed my neighbor's plums fall over the fence that separates our properties. My neighbor is on the down slope of a hill and they will never be able to reach the plums that grow on my side of the fence because it's too high and there's a barrier. But because I'm higher up, those plums hang at a perfect level for me to pick them. The very top of their tree is about two feet above my head; in other words, the perfect picking height.

The "forbidden fruit," if you will.

As I glanced out my window, I noticed ripe plums rotting on the ground. “Just look at those ripe plums going to waste!” I said. “How could I let that happen? Besides, those plums sit on my side of the fence, so is it really stealing? I mean, what's ownership anyway.” With all those thoughts in mind, I started picking those plums, and wouldn't you know it, a piece of dirt or perhaps a small rock flew into my eye. Ladies and gentlemen, the force of good communicating to me that, yes, it still counts as stealing. It is no coincidence I experienced pain after my somewhat-questionable actions.

The force of good shows up in other ways too. When our hearts start to pound, or our hands begin to sweat when we know we're engaging in nefarious behavior, that's the force of good saying, “Hey, maybe rethink this.” There are some people that ignore those messages though. What happens in those situations is the force of good exerts itself less and less, which makes sense because in a tug of war battle, if one side is likely to win, the other stops pulling as hard.

Unlike in real tug of war though, neither good nor evil stops pulling. They're very persistent those two. That means there's always a chance for redemption. My spiritual teacher was such a believer in redemption that his first disciple was a known thief. In fact, my teacher taught the guy meditation after the thief pulled out a dagger and threatened to rob and kill my teacher! After the meditation lesson, the thief gave up his old ways and really turned over a new leaf. So, yeah, there's always a chance for good. Similarly though, there's always a chance for evil.

I guess what I'm saying here is it's easy to get complacent. To think, “I'm a good person so I would never do that,” or “I'm such a screw up, there's no hope for me,” but neither are true. There's a thin line between good and evil and it's easy to start moving in either direction, which I think is illustrated quite well in Star Wars. Maybe we need to adopt Mad-Eye Moody's motto from the Harry Potter books and maintain “Constant vigilance!”

I dream of a world where we pay attention to what we're doing. A world where we understand when the universe is trying to communicate with us, to encourage us to side with the force of good, and we do so. A world where we understand there's not a lot of difference between good and evil so it's up to us to decide which side of the tug of war battle we'd like to be on.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

Why I Typically Don't Unfriend People

First of all, I want to say I'm not judging other people for unfriending or unfollowing. There are some people who don't deserve the pleasure of our company because they cause us harm physically, mentally, or emotionally. I'm using the topic of unfriending as an entry point to discuss a spiritual concept.

In this day and age, it's easy to surround ourselves solely with people who feel the way we do. Dissolving a friendship is as easy as clicking a button or ignoring a text message. If we don't like something someone has to say, we don't have to listen to it. But at what cost?

Click, click, friendship OVER. 

I read an article recently about how a liberal professor is terrified by his liberal students. He said, “The student-teacher dynamic has been re-envisioned along a line that's simultaneously consumerist and hyper-protective, giving each and every student the ability to claim Grievous Harm in nearly any circumstance, after any affront, and a teacher's formal ability to respond to these claims is limited at best.”

He goes on to say he once saw an adjunct professor not get his contract renewed after students complained that he exposed them to "offensive" texts written by Edward Said and Mark Twain. The adjunct's response that the texts were meant to be a little upsetting, only “fueled the students' ire and sealed his fate,” according to the professor.

What surprised me even more as I read the article was learning Oxford canceled an abortion debate because it would have imperiled the "welfare and safety of our students." Have we become so obsessed with maintaining comfort that we can't allow any differences of opinion? That we're not open to having our ideas questioned?

From a spiritual perspective, when we start cutting ourselves off from others, when we start making judgment calls about who's right, who's wrong, and what's good, what's bad, we move further away from the divine. If the goal of my life is to experience a sense of one-ness with God, then I can't practice separateness. My spiritual teacher says those who follow the path of the divine “do not acknowledge the baneful and delusory classifications created by society,” because those classifications contribute to crudeness and staticity, to engaging more with Prakrti than consciousness, which then in turn “speeds unhampered in the innermost recesses of the heart.”

Again, some people deserve to be loved from afar, but they aren't any less deserving of love and respect. And those who are good people, but who have different opinions from us? There are many treasures to be found in those friendships. I have some dear friends who do not share my views on things like diet and religion, but instead of letting those differences divide us, we work to find our similarities instead. There is something amazing and sublime about finding the ways in which we are the same instead of pointing out how we're different. And sublime is where I'm at these days.

I dream of a world where we have more tolerance for differences. A world where we seek to find what unites us instead of divides us. A world where we're not so quick to cut ourselves off from people. A world where we seek one-ness in as many ways as we can.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

How to Achieve Permanent Happiness

Sometimes I feel like a marathon runner who forgot where the finish line is. It's like blackberries growing on the side of the course distracted me and I decided to veer off to pick them. But then my hands got sticky so I had to find some water to wash them off with. And then while looking for water, I found a lake and decided to take a swim, and by that point the finish line is a distant memory.

Doesn't life seem like that sometimes? To paraphrase Elbert Hubbard, one damn thing after another? I keep chasing after one thing or another thinking it will make me happy, but it never does. Or I'm happy for about five seconds and then it's on to the next thing. I am on a search for infinite happiness. I've been sampling the goodies Earth has to offer and infinite, unlimited happiness ain't here because by definition everything on Earth is limited and finite. This is why people turn to spirituality in the first place, we are craving mind-blowing bliss of a permanent nature. How do I find that? Especially when there are so many cool things to savor? It's easy to get distracted, I mean, just look at those blackberry bushes.

I don't know why this pictures says, "permanent happiness" to me, but it does.

Some people say the way to no longer get distracted by the world is to withdraw from it. Go to a cave or a cabin in the woods with no wifi or cellphone service. Meditate all day long and immerse yourself in thinking about God. I don't know about you, but after a week of that, I start to go stir crazy. In the words of my father, I become “bored out of my gourd.” There are so many cool things in the world! I don't want to shut myself off from everything and everyone. Doesn't sound very fun to me.

This dovetails into the post I wrote last week about the the reincarnation merry-go-round. I said the only way to get off the ride is by making everything the divine, because that way we're like Teflon – nothing sticks to us. We don't incur the consequences of any actions negative or positive. For instance, when I eat an apple think, “I am eating God in the form of this apple.” That way I'm savoring all that the world has to offer, but I'm not getting caught up in it. I'm not getting distracted or swerving off course from my ultimate goal of merger with the divine.

This concept is what I believe the Bible verse means in 1 John 2:15: “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life – is not of the Father but is of the world.” What we're striving for is remembering what the true form and the true source of everything is.

I can count the times I've been able to accomplish this task on one hand. It's hard, yo, but when I've been able to feel into it, to really know the apple I'm eating is God in the form of this apple, wow. Incredible. Amazing. What I love about this practice is instead of making bliss and enlightenment a future goal, something that happens to me down the road, I'm doing it now. I'm immersing myself in the cosmic ocean and swimming in it this very moment.

To recap, making everything the divine, or the divine in the form of an object, not only stops the reincarnation cycle, but also ensures I'm still on the path toward my goal AND experiencing bliss along the way. I'd call that a win.

I dream of a world where we're all able to experience bliss. A world where we're able to feel everything comes from the divine and is the divine. A world where we make enlightenment a current goal. A world where we chase after what will make us happy permanently.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

The Reincarnation Merry-Go-Round

Reincarnation is a belief system that makes sense to me; it fits in with the experiences I've had and the people I've met. Sometimes I meet someone and our connection is instantaneous, as if we've known each other before. And I've visited places where my feet seemed to know the way even if my brain didn't, which suggests to me I've been there before in another life.

Reincarnation seems to me like a merry-go-round: I'm born, I live, I die. I'm born, I live, I die. On and on it goes. Death is like changing to a different horse – the circumstances are a bit different, but I'm still on the merry-go-round. I'm starting to think I'd like to get off the ride and try something new. But if death is not an exit strategy, just a chance to change horses, what to do?

I couldn't find a merry-go-round but this is pretty close.

According to the spiritual philosophy I've read,the only thing to do is to stop taking ownership for everything and make it about God/Brahma/Source/the divine. Instead of thinking, “I'm browsing the internet,” think, “The divine is browsing the internet.” I know, this is where my merry-go-round analogy falls apart, but what I'm trying to say, is instead of making everything about me, I have to make everything about God if I want to get out of the cycle of reincarnation. And that means everything, which already fits in with the notion I wrote about that everything contains consciousness.

It means God is the one typing this blogpost, it means God is the one reading this blogpost, it means God is this blogpost. I can't take credit for any of my actions because as soon as I identify with my ego, that means for better or for worse I have to undergo the consequences and repercussions. Sometimes the consequences are pretty cool, like winning an award, but if the goal of my life is really to dance with the divine and stop the reincarnation cycle, then I don't want any consequences from my actions either negative or positive.

There's a pretty popular Sanskrit chant/mantra that sums this up well. Some people chant it before eating or when they get out of the shower. The translation is:

Salutations to the ancestors, salutations to inventors. The act of offering is Brahma; that which is offered is Brahma; the one to whom the offering is made is Brahma; and the person making the offering is Brahma. One will merge in Brahma after completing the duty assigned to him/her by Brahma.

I know that's a lot of the word “Brahma.” Like I said to my dad yesterday, don't get hung up on the word. Find one that resonates. For me, right now, saying Brahma doesn't mean much. But if I say everything is God or the divine, that works better. The point is to start to get out of my own head a little and recognize the world is a bigger, broader place than what I realize. And also not to take things so seriously because instead, I recognize I'm an instrument. Life isn't about me and my happiness, it's about what can be worked through me. When I start to view things from that perspective, I'm closer to getting off the merry-go-round.

I dream of a world where we set our egos aside. A world where we let ourselves be instruments. A world where we make everything about the divine. A world where we stop accumulating actions and reactions and finally get off the reincarnation merry-go-round.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.