The Pearl and the Oyster

You know the expression “the world is your oyster”? If you think about it, the phrase doesn’t really match the connotation we have with it. We say “the world is your oyster” when we want to indicate the world is wide open, that you have numerous opportunities available to you, that sort of thing. But have you seen an oyster? They’re closed tightly, they’re dark inside. They are not warm and inviting.

Are we really saying the world is a tightly closed, dark place? Or are we saying that we’re the precious jewelry formed in oysters, a pearl? If so, that’s not particularly flattering either. Natural pearls are formed when a parasite works its way into an oyster and as a defense mechanism, the oyster coats the irritant with layer after layer until voila! A pearl.

So pretty, yet so strange. Photo by Maximilian Hofer on Unsplash

I find the more literal meaning of “the world is your oyster” more inspiring because what I hear is the world can be scary, uncomfortable, uncertain, and through the experience of living, you will emerge a pearl. I think it’s a message we could all use more of right now during this pandemic. I recognize none of us will emerge from COVID-19 unscathed, and some of us will be more affected than others. And, this experience has we wondering how we turn out on the other side. Will we be pearls? Turned into something or someone we otherwise would not have been?

I also think about wildflowers in California after fires ravaged the land. Some species only grow because they were exposed to such high heat, which is called scarification. Spiritual teacher Tosha Silver talks about this too. She says, “True surrender to love isn’t just about being ‘guided.’ It’s a freakin holy alchemy that you can neither control nor predict. You are ravished. You are changed. But as you relax into the sometimes unbearable process, the sparkling diamond of your true nature begins to emerge.” I would change the word “diamond” to “pearl” but I think you get the point.

My spiritual practice is about finding God in everything – the mundane and the extraordinary, the suffering and the ease. There is nowhere I can go to escape the divine and that means God is here too in this process, in this pandemic. It also means its possible this pandemic is leading to a change not only in society, but also in ourselves. How will we be different on the other side of this? Will we be bright and shiny pearls stronger as a result of living in the dark, confined space that is the world right now? Maybe. It’s something I, personally, am hoping for.

I dream of a world where we remember if the world is our oyster, that means we are the pearl. A world where we understand beauty and transformation arise from hardship and that’s always been so. A world where we strive to be changed for the better as a result of our challenges and ultimately become the shining pearls we are meant to be.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

All is Provided

I've written about this topic several times over the years, but it bears repeating. Right now as I'm in a transition phase of my life, being self-employed and all, I'm building my faith muscle. Particularly, faith that everything I need is and will be provided. At the same time, I'm working to let go of control and to trust that all will be well.

This weekend one of my closest friends picked me up for an excursion. She asked me to be ready by 8:45. I'm a punctual person, but not so much in the morning. It takes me a looooong time to get ready and more often than not I'm a little late when it comes to morning appointments. On Saturday, I dawdled a little too long on my phone and lounging in my bed. Anxiety ticked up because I worried I'd be late. I don't like to keep people waiting, especially when they're driving over to my house. The anxiety escalated and escalated because by 8:30 I hadn't brushed my teeth, changed out of my pjs, or eaten breakfast. For some people 15 minutes is plenty of time to do all those things. For me, it's not.

Everything will be given. Photo by Chungkuk Bae on Unsplash 

My “Oh no!” voice started squawking and I took a deep breath and said a prayer, inspired by the new author and spiritual teacher I'm reading, Tosha Silver. She wrote a book called Change Me Prayers that invokes transformation by starting her prayers with “change me.” For instance, “Change me, divine beloved, into one who relaxes with great ease into the unknown.” In the midst of my freak out on Saturday, I said with earnestness, “Change me, divine beloved, into someone who is OK being late sometimes. Or have my friend run a little late to give me more time. I trust you and know that you'll have what's best for all of us happen. Thank you. Amen.” And then wouldn't you know it, my friend was seven minutes late. It's not very much, but it was enough to ensure I could finish getting ready.

It's a small thing, but the incident reminded me everything I need is given to me. That there is a divine intelligence at play in the universe, and I don't have to keep a tight fist of control on everything. When I'm anxious, I'm trying to make things go my way and worry that they won't. I wanted to be ready at 8:45 on the dot even though I truly needed more time considering how I'd already spent my morning. Things unfolded in such a way that my needs were met, and my friend's needs were met. When I pray, I open myself to my higher power's will, which is precisely what my spiritual teacher advocates.

He says the best prayer is, “Do whatever You think fit and best for me. I do not know in which way lies my good – You know.” Because praying in that way is offering it to Cosmic Consciousness, it's surrendering to something greater than yourself with the reminder the human brain only knows and sees so much. Do I know whether it's in my highest and best good to sign that client or marry that person? No, because I don't know everything. But God, Supreme Consciousness, Brahma, etc. is omniscient and knows waaaay more than I do. And furthermore, when I put my life in the hands of that loving entity, that's when miracles occur and I witness over and over again that all is provided.

I dream of a world where we surrender to a power greater than ourselves. A world where we pray for what's in our highest and best good to transpire. A world where we let go as much as we can and recognize everything we need will be provided to us.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

Some Things Will Happen Anyway

Something funny happened to me. This morning I read in Tosha's Silver's book It's Not Your Money that sometimes when we're angry we need to break something. She recommends plates but it could be anything – stuffed animals, coconuts, phone books. I felt the urge to break something but then talked myself out of it because I didn't want to deal with the clean up. Even if I broke plates in my garage I can't leave shards lying around. I mean, I suppose I could, but people park in there. What would happen to their tires? Therefore I dismissed breaking anything and considered buying a coconut later this week.

I grabbed my water glass and wouldn't you know it – it hit my counter in such a way that it shattered. Not into a million pieces thank goodness, but enough to mean I pulled out the vacuum cleaner. It was kind of satisfying to hear and see the glass smash AND it was also a pain in the butt to clean up the debris. Some people might think my experience just now was a coincidence but I'm not a butterfingers. I don't regularly break dishes. In fact, the last time I broke a water glass was more than four years ago, so we can't chalk it up to me being a klutz.

Not my glasses. Photo by Jana Sabeth on Unsplash 

I'm writing about this, I'm making meaning out of the broken glass, because I think it indicates what's in my best good will happen. I may try to prevent it, but it will happen. Also, sometimes what's best for me will hurt or be annoying. In this instance, I cut myself. I bled a little. And I had to clean up the broken glass. It wasn't fun, I didn't enjoy it, but the part of me that needed to break something feels satisfied. Emotionally I feel better.

I'm also thinking about samskaras here, or reactive momenta. Samskaras are related to the law of karma, or the law of action. As we know, for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction. But what happens if the reaction takes a second? Or more than a second? That potential reaction, the seed of the reaction to an action, is called a samskara in Sanskrit. According to my spiritual tradition, we carry these samskaras with us from one lifetime to the next. When a samskara is expressed, we often attribute that to luck, both good and bad.

I spend a lot of time thinking about luck. I long for good luck and I worry about bad luck. “Worry” isn't quite the right word, it's more like obsess. Especially when it comes to safety. I'm scared to go to movie theaters because I'm worried about mass shootings. I'm nervous attending religious services for the same reason. The first thing I do when I enter a space is notice the exits in case I need to make a quick getaway. Some of this is warranted, I do live in the U.S. after all, but I worry about these things as if noticing them will prevent them from happening. If I'm hypervigilant, then nothing can happen to me, right? Weeeellllllllll.

Another way to think of samskaras is to equate them with a curriculum. There are certain things that are meant for us in this lifetime. We can't run away from them as much as we try. It's why the healthiest person you know gets cancer. Or your friend can't find a job despite applying all over creation. It would be easy to sink into defeatism here. To say, “Oh well. That's my fate. Can't do anything about it,” but that's both true and not true. We make new samskaras all the time. How we show up in the world still matters AND certain things are inevitable. I think what this comes down to is serenity, encapsulated by the serenity prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Right now, I'm figuring out what I can change and what I can't. I'm working on accepting what's coming to me, both good and bad. How can I be more serene? That, my friends, is the work.

I dream of a world where we recognize what's needed in our lives will happen. A world where we understand what's necessary isn't always pleasant. A world where we realize someone else's life curriculum isn't necessarily ours and vice versa. A world where we live in serenity as best we can one day at a time.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

This Life Belongs to Love

Within the past couple of weeks I started reading a life-changing book. I don't use the phrase “life-changing” lightly. Very few books embed themselves so deeply into my psyche that I find myself irrevocably altered as a result. I'm not even finished with the book yet but already I'm behaving differently.

The book is Tosha Silver's It's Not Your Money. I mean, even the title tells you this is something different, right? Instead of the mindset “It's mine! What can I do to get more?” Tosha instead asks the reader to offer up money (and everything really) to the divine beloved. To recognize nothing on this planet is truly “ours” in a permanent way. We are merely caretakers for the time being. For instance, eventually the computer I'm typing this on will get donated or recycled.

Gorgeous, right? Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

What Tosha invokes in her book is the reminder we aren't operating in the world alone. I'm not the one solely responsible for making money or finding a romantic partner or whatever. I listened to a podcast she appeared on and she said people often say, “You'll never find a parking spot in that area,” or “You'll never find an affordable place to live in that neighborhood,” etc. She recognizes the person is right – if they don't invoke the divine beloved. So in her mind she tacks on “without God.” So for instance, “You'll never find a parking spot in that area, without God.” It's not so much a trick to manifesting everything we desire, so much as recognizing with God/source/the universe anything and everything is possible. If something is in our best interest, if it's in our highest good, the Supreme will make it so.

I know that to be true in my own life. Many years ago a friend counseled me about finding a place to live and he said there are three factors to housing: cost, size, and location. And then he said, “Now pick two,” meaning, nobody gets all three. In the extremely expensive rental market of the Bay Area, I did get all three: an apartment in my price range, the size I wanted, and in a good location, which was truly an act of grace. I've seen miracles in my life, and now I'm consciously inviting love to take charge of all aspects, including finances.

This week after reading a line from Tosha's book I immediately burst into tears and then wrote it on a piece of masking tape by my doorknob so I see it every time I enter or exit my apartment. She talked about letting go of old stories and no matter what happened in the past, we can do things differently and live a new reality. She said, “This life now belongs to love and anything can happen.” Wow y'all. That line. I hope you can feel the power of it, the recognition that love is here and when we open up to the divine, anything can happen. Bills miraculously get paid. Our soulmate knocks on our door. Opportunities abound.

What Tosha is talking about here is surrendering to something greater than ourselves. It's about letting love into our lives to lead. It's about letting go of control and recognizing there is a divine presence here, in this moment, in every moment. That a loving force moves through me and through you. And furthermore, we can consciously invite that loving force into our lives. I've been on the spiritual path for a long time and I still need the reminder that surrender doesn't end the minute I leave my meditation cushion. Real surrender means saying, “Hey God/higher power/universe, I want you to take care of this. Please guide my actions. I trust where you are leading me,” and then we let go, knowing whatever needs to come, comes, and whatever needs to go, goes. Because truly, this life belongs to love.

I dream of a world where we recognize the power and the presence of a loving force in our lives. A world where we're able to surrender and let go of our micromanaging tendencies and fully trust all true needs will be met, and often in amazing and wonderful ways. A world where we realize we never walk alone because this life belongs to love.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.