The Pearl and the Oyster

You know the expression “the world is your oyster”? If you think about it, the phrase doesn’t really match the connotation we have with it. We say “the world is your oyster” when we want to indicate the world is wide open, that you have numerous opportunities available to you, that sort of thing. But have you seen an oyster? They’re closed tightly, they’re dark inside. They are not warm and inviting.

Are we really saying the world is a tightly closed, dark place? Or are we saying that we’re the precious jewelry formed in oysters, a pearl? If so, that’s not particularly flattering either. Natural pearls are formed when a parasite works its way into an oyster and as a defense mechanism, the oyster coats the irritant with layer after layer until voila! A pearl.

So pretty, yet so strange. Photo by Maximilian Hofer on Unsplash

I find the more literal meaning of “the world is your oyster” more inspiring because what I hear is the world can be scary, uncomfortable, uncertain, and through the experience of living, you will emerge a pearl. I think it’s a message we could all use more of right now during this pandemic. I recognize none of us will emerge from COVID-19 unscathed, and some of us will be more affected than others. And, this experience has we wondering how we turn out on the other side. Will we be pearls? Turned into something or someone we otherwise would not have been?

I also think about wildflowers in California after fires ravaged the land. Some species only grow because they were exposed to such high heat, which is called scarification. Spiritual teacher Tosha Silver talks about this too. She says, “True surrender to love isn’t just about being ‘guided.’ It’s a freakin holy alchemy that you can neither control nor predict. You are ravished. You are changed. But as you relax into the sometimes unbearable process, the sparkling diamond of your true nature begins to emerge.” I would change the word “diamond” to “pearl” but I think you get the point.

My spiritual practice is about finding God in everything – the mundane and the extraordinary, the suffering and the ease. There is nowhere I can go to escape the divine and that means God is here too in this process, in this pandemic. It also means its possible this pandemic is leading to a change not only in society, but also in ourselves. How will we be different on the other side of this? Will we be bright and shiny pearls stronger as a result of living in the dark, confined space that is the world right now? Maybe. It’s something I, personally, am hoping for.

I dream of a world where we remember if the world is our oyster, that means we are the pearl. A world where we understand beauty and transformation arise from hardship and that’s always been so. A world where we strive to be changed for the better as a result of our challenges and ultimately become the shining pearls we are meant to be.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

COVID-19 and the Global Society

The other day I went for a walk in the woods by my house. While on the trail, an animal turned around and stared at me for several seconds. It reminded me of a dog, but I didn't spot an owner and also the face was too triangular. Was this some sort of cat? I kept walking and again the animal turned around. We had another moment. After seeing its tail, I realized, “That's a fox!” I'd never seen a fox before despite living in a variety of environments. Also, the foxes from children's books are usually deep red while this creature was more brown.

When I came home, I looked up the meaning of foxes in the book Animal-Speak by Ted Andrews. The whole entry didn't resonate with me, but one part did. Foxes reflect “a new world opening up, that the process of creation is beginning. It reflects that the world is growing and shapeshifting itself into new patterns that will be beneficial.”

The world is getting smaller and smaller. Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

I know COVID-19 is affecting people negatively, me too, so I don't want to downplay that, but I'm also wondering if we're shapeshifting into new patterns that will be beneficial for us. I think about how the National Health Service, the U.K.'s medical care system, sprang from the crisis during World War II. The government started Emergency Hospital Service to care for the wounded during the war because the issue of health provisions was a growing problem. We're starting to see that in California right now too. The state bought two vacant hospitals to help with the influx of patients due to COVID-19. Are we seeing the beginnings of nationalized healthcare? Maybe.

I also think about how FDR enacted the New Deal during the Great Depression. He promised he would act swiftly to face the “dark realities of the moment” and assured Americans he would “wage a war against the emergency.” I realize Trump is no FDR, but perhaps this is where state's rights will come into play more and each state will enact policies to benefit its residents.

On a micro level, people seem to be kinder right now. Neighbors are helping neighbors, people are checking up on the elderly, procuring food for those in need, and donating when and where they can. I've heard many a comparison to the days following 9/11, but I didn't live in New York then and didn't experience the outpouring of kindness and consideration that so many people mention. In my part of the world, things pretty much continued as usual. In this time, we are all affected regardless of our geography. The entire globe is experiencing the same thing to a greater or lesser degree.

My spiritual teacher says during periods of psychic and physical clash like we're all experiencing “the existential feelings of human beings do not remain confined to their physical bodies alone, but spread to those around them. Initially they think about the welfare of the members of their own families, but with the gradual evolution of their minds, they see themselves as members of a global society and become actively engaged in promoting the well-being of all.”

I think that's what's happening here, at least for now. We're seeing ourselves as part of a global society and promoting the well-being of all. Things are hard and scary right now, absolutely. But maybe as a result of this pandemic we'll all start caring about each other more and we'll enact programs that benefit the many instead of the few. That's my wish anyway.

I dream of a world where we recognize we're all in this together. A world where we understand we're a global society and it's important to promote the well-being of everyone. A world where we take better care of each other because we recognize what affects one person affects us all.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

Maybe Believing Makes it So

Lately I've been thinking about how as much as history is filled with stories of human suffering, it's also filled with stories about overcoming it. In my own life, I'm prone to tell the former more than the latter. For instance, I'm quick to tell people I was hit by a car as a pedestrian, but rarely do I mention the strangers who stopped for me, who drove me home, who copied down the license plate number. Nor do I mention my friends who rushed over to comfort me, to ply me with arnica and rescue remedy.

Instead of a testament to the kindness of others, I broadcast the tragedy. Even now I notice it's easier for me to get stuck in the present moment in a bad way. I think the present moment will last forever and have trouble maintaining perspective. It's hard for me to feel optimistic about my personal future.

I'm reminded here of my maternal grandmother. During the Holocaust, she hid in a potato cellar with a rabbi and his family for 11 months. The living conditions were hellish, as I'm sure you can imagine. Not to mention she contracted typhus and couldn't get proper medical care because, well, she was in hiding. She wanted to die and the rabbi said to her, “You will get through this. Your life will get better.” My grandma thought he'd lost his mind. She did get through it and her life did get better. Not every moment was a party, but she experienced joy again, which she didn't think was possible.

True story: I spotted a rainbow on my walk home today. Not this one though. Photo by Simon John-McHaffie on Unsplash

During hard times it's difficult to remember things change, but they do. Even if I look at the coronavirus as an example, I see that's true. A month ago I didn't know it existed and now schools are closed, events are canceled, flights are grounded. A lot has happened very quickly. The same is true for us. Our lives can change in an instant. When I say that, I usually think of it in the negative, as in, forecasting terrible things, but the reality is life can change for the better in an instant too. I could sign a new client tomorrow. I could bump into my future husband on the street after we've both emerged from social isolation. A year from now my novel could be a bestseller. I truly don't know.

Again taking the coronavirus as an example, the air is clearing in China, CO2 emissions are down, and eating wild animals is banned. People are singing across the street to each other every day in Italy. We are all learning how to slow down and connect with one another in new ways, which is beautiful.

I realize we all have a negativity bias and it's a protective mechanism, but what if we started to skew in the other way? What if we started to search for the positive? For the hope? What if more of us could be like that rabbi in hiding with my grandma and fiercely believe the world would get better? That our lives would get better? Maybe believing it would make it so.

I dream of a world where we maintain our perspective. A world where we remember the present moment is fleeting. A world where we acknowledge suffering as well as the overcoming of it. A world where we hold on to hope for the future as much as we can.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

OK God, OK

If I had to characterize the mood of last week, I would say “panicked.” In my circles at least, people are freaking out about the upcoming presidential election. It has a life or death tenor to it. On top of that, the coronavirus is sweeping the world and people are freaking out because there's a literal life or death element. Conferences are being canceled, travel plans have been thwarted. Cities are discouraging nonessential public events. I get it, and as an empath I also feel it. My adrenal glands haven't felt this taxed in months. What to do about it?

For me, the answer is slow down. When I slow down, I'm no longer in panic or hysteria because the two cannot coexist. Even right now I'm breathing deeply into my belly. I'm noticing the pause between the inhalation and exhalation. And I'm also saying to myself, “I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not ever going anywhere.” Do I still feel the niggling of fear at the outer edges? Yes I do. But not as intensely as before, and that's progress.

This picture makes more sense after reading the next paragraph because I'm talking about waving the white flag. Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

I also think about surrender here. To surrender means to stop fighting. For me, that means to stop fighting reality, to accept what is right here and right now with the understanding life can change in an instant. When I slow down and accept reality, I notice what arises is grief. I'm sad y'all. I'm sad about the state of the world. I'm sad that minorities are being treated poorly en masse. I'm sad people are ravaging the environment. I'm sad I'm struggling financially. Panic I think is a way to push aside feelings and instead dwell in the “action” state. If I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off, then I don't have to sit with my own fear, anger, or sadness. And if you're paying attention, there's much be fearful, angry, or sad about.

I think we're all looking for a parent. We all want someone to come in and take care of us, to make everything better without effort on our part. Maybe I'm projecting, but it certainly seems that way. There's an expectation our political leaders will act as good parents, and then when they show themselves to be fallible human beings, we're disappointed. So the question becomes, who can be the parent we're looking for? Some people get in touch with their own inner loving parent. Some people turn to God or higher power for soothing. As for me, I'm relying on both. I'm parenting myself and I'm also working on surrendering to something greater than me.

I've written about surrender a lot over the years. I wish I could surrender once and be done with it, but that's not how my life goes. Instead, I'm learning to surrender over and over again. Right now, I'm saying, “OK God. OK.” Those seven letters pack a punch. They're a simple way for me to express that I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's best for me. I'm offering it to God. I wish I could be a woman of faith who completely trusts in the universe. I'm crazy envious of people like that, but the reality is I'm not that person. Sometimes I trust in my higher power and sometimes I don't. And sometimes I'm brought to my knees like with the current situation we're all facing. I'm doing my part – voting, washing my hands, etc. – but the reality is I'm not in control. All that's left for me to do is let go. “OK God. OK.”

I dream of a world where we slow down. A world where we feel our feelings and understand the wisdom in taking inspired action. A world where we recognize we're not in control of everything and we're able to let go. A world where we're able to surrender because sometimes that's the only action we can take.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

All is Provided

I've written about this topic several times over the years, but it bears repeating. Right now as I'm in a transition phase of my life, being self-employed and all, I'm building my faith muscle. Particularly, faith that everything I need is and will be provided. At the same time, I'm working to let go of control and to trust that all will be well.

This weekend one of my closest friends picked me up for an excursion. She asked me to be ready by 8:45. I'm a punctual person, but not so much in the morning. It takes me a looooong time to get ready and more often than not I'm a little late when it comes to morning appointments. On Saturday, I dawdled a little too long on my phone and lounging in my bed. Anxiety ticked up because I worried I'd be late. I don't like to keep people waiting, especially when they're driving over to my house. The anxiety escalated and escalated because by 8:30 I hadn't brushed my teeth, changed out of my pjs, or eaten breakfast. For some people 15 minutes is plenty of time to do all those things. For me, it's not.

Everything will be given. Photo by Chungkuk Bae on Unsplash 

My “Oh no!” voice started squawking and I took a deep breath and said a prayer, inspired by the new author and spiritual teacher I'm reading, Tosha Silver. She wrote a book called Change Me Prayers that invokes transformation by starting her prayers with “change me.” For instance, “Change me, divine beloved, into one who relaxes with great ease into the unknown.” In the midst of my freak out on Saturday, I said with earnestness, “Change me, divine beloved, into someone who is OK being late sometimes. Or have my friend run a little late to give me more time. I trust you and know that you'll have what's best for all of us happen. Thank you. Amen.” And then wouldn't you know it, my friend was seven minutes late. It's not very much, but it was enough to ensure I could finish getting ready.

It's a small thing, but the incident reminded me everything I need is given to me. That there is a divine intelligence at play in the universe, and I don't have to keep a tight fist of control on everything. When I'm anxious, I'm trying to make things go my way and worry that they won't. I wanted to be ready at 8:45 on the dot even though I truly needed more time considering how I'd already spent my morning. Things unfolded in such a way that my needs were met, and my friend's needs were met. When I pray, I open myself to my higher power's will, which is precisely what my spiritual teacher advocates.

He says the best prayer is, “Do whatever You think fit and best for me. I do not know in which way lies my good – You know.” Because praying in that way is offering it to Cosmic Consciousness, it's surrendering to something greater than yourself with the reminder the human brain only knows and sees so much. Do I know whether it's in my highest and best good to sign that client or marry that person? No, because I don't know everything. But God, Supreme Consciousness, Brahma, etc. is omniscient and knows waaaay more than I do. And furthermore, when I put my life in the hands of that loving entity, that's when miracles occur and I witness over and over again that all is provided.

I dream of a world where we surrender to a power greater than ourselves. A world where we pray for what's in our highest and best good to transpire. A world where we let go as much as we can and recognize everything we need will be provided to us.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.