Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Letting Go Of Someone

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” -- Kahlil Gibran.
If someone had said this to me last week my response would have been: "What are you talking about?!? If you love someone you have to hold on with both hands! You don't let that kind of thing go!" To my amazement, this week I find I'm in Kahlil's camp.

Let me back up. When I get a crush on someone it's usually intense and dramatic and well. Obsessive. It's obsessive. I admit it. I'm a drama queen and I have a tendency to pursue things until they are dead. Sometimes this serves me well (perseverance leads to a job!) and sometimes it doesn't (whoa, you're coming on too strong). It's something I'm working on.

Anyway, I have a crush on someone. I was taking the route of "I like you! We need to hang out right this instant!" It felt very. Sticky. Very. Clingy. In other words I was attached. I couldn't get him out of my head.

And then we hung out and he couldn't seem to talk to me. It got me thinking about relationships and people and possibilities.

I started thinking about how as much as I like this guy it may turn out to be nothing. I started to be open to all possibilities, including the one where we don't end up together. I understand and accept it (probably) won't work out. I'm surrendered to my fate and to whatever direction this relationship will go, including nowhere. Why am I bringing this up?

Since I dropped my attachment, my desire to force a relationship, I feel less frustrated. The energy surrounding this guy feels less clingy, less sticky. I feel freer and more open. I can't tell you whether we'll end up dating or not because that chapter is still being written, but I can tell you I feel a whole lot better.

I'm noticing how I feel easier, better, and more open now that I've let him go. I'm allowing whatever is in my best interest to manifest because I am no longer attached to any outcome. I don't know if this post will help anyone else but I guess I just wanted to say I know another life is possible. One where we let people come into our lives as they may, whether that be for a year or two, and we allow them to leave when they wish. I envision a world where we aren't attached to the people in our lives but are merely grateful for the time they grace us with their presence. I envision a world where even if we like someone we don't try to force a relationship but rather we let the relationship be whatever it needs to be. I envision a world where we are open to whoever is in our best interest even if that person isn't the one standing next to us.

I know that not only is another world possible, it's probable.

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