Needs, Wants, Desires

"I need it. I have to have it. I want it, why can’t you give it to me?" That’s how I feel this week. An upwelling urge of “this must be in my life.” I feel like I’m pleading my case to God/the Universe/Brahma trying to make Him understand why it’s important for me to get what I want.

"You see God, it’s not a matter of want, it’s a matter of need and that makes all the difference. Need trumps want, dontcha know?"

Abraham Hicks says, “We found that to be the case with your mother. If you pleaded a really needy case, sometimes she’d give up the goods.” (If you want to hear more of what Abraham has to say on neediness, you can go here.)

Dear Father In The Clouds, isn’t it the same with you? If I tell you what I need and why I need it, will you also give up the goods? Somehow, weirdly, the answer is no. (And doesn’t that just blow?) The only way I can describe why that’s the case is to liken neediness to desperation. I wrote about this before, but as a freshman in college at UNC I was desperate for friends and I had the worst time making any. When people smell the desperation on you they stay far, far away. It’s probably the same with the Universe. When you are desperate and needy the energy just isn’t flowing. I don’t think God says, “Rebekah, you cannot have what you want,” because I don’t think God is Santa Claus, but I will say there is something to the law of attraction and the energy I’m putting out.

If what I want is beautiful and wholesome and flowing how does feeling needy, desperate and clingy make me a match to what I want? It doesn’t. I think for a long time I’ve equated need with want, but in truth they’re not the same. Wants and desires are natural. They are what keep us propelling forward and moving through life. They are what dictate progress and expansion.

Last week a friend of mine said he reached a point where he was without desire and he stood still for an hour because he didn’t know what to do next. He was practically paralyzed because he didn’t have a desire to do anything. I think it’s a poignant example of how desires are a good thing. It’s fine for me to want something, in fact, it’s expected. The need though? The desperate clingy feeling that goes along with it? That’s unnecessary.

In truth, all I need I already have. On a mundane level I have food to eat, a place to sleep, water to drink, and a supportive community. I’m set. On a spiritual level I am already whole and complete and perfect. My needs are taken care of. Wants, well, those are an entirely different beast.

It’s ok to have wants. It’s perfectly natural. But you know? I don’t need my wants to manifest. I don’t have to plead my case to God to grant my wishes. Instead I can say, “It would be nice to have X.” It feels good to fantasize about those things, trusting if they’re meant to be, they’ll happen. To know all that stuff has its own timeline and can’t be rushed. To also acknowledge I am where I am and where I am is alright. To stay in the place of gratitude and appreciation for my life as it is, not as I wish it to be.

I dream of world where we separate needs and wants. Where we acknowledge all we need we already have. That we are fulfilled by all that is already given to us. I dream of a world where we fantasize about our wants, recognizing neediness doesn’t make them come any faster. A world where love where we are and are eager to experience what’s next.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.