Today I was supposed to meet a friend of mine at 1 p.m. It didn’t happen. Everything took so much longer than I expected – my appointment, the bus, the walk. I sat fidgeting in my bus seat at 1:30 because, “Oh my god! I’m so late! He’s standing outside my apartment waiting for me!” I kept willing the bus to go faster, to not make all its stops. Every second counts dontcha know. And when I finally scampered to my door he told me it wasn’t a problem. That I arrived at the perfect time.
I have this thing about punctuality. In general I think it’s a good idea because I value my time as well as other people’s. But when the Universe puts roadblocks in my way, perhaps it’s ok. Like that time I missed the bus but caught the FedEx guy. Maybe when I’m running late and it’s not my fault (or even when it is) I can relax about it. I’m not advocating flakiness because Lord knows the quickest way to upset me is to flake out, but maybe I can move toward the middle way, as my friend says. Maybe I can learn balance. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be either uptight and anal or flaky space cadet.
My “thing” with punctuality also applies on a macrocosmic scale. I have thoughts about when things “should” happen. Like how my business “should” be further along or my book “should” be in its final stages of design. Or even how at 26 I “should” be in a serious relationship.
February is a big anniversary month for me (I moved to San Francisco three years ago on Valentine’s Day), so I’m doing a lot of reflecting. I’m noticing the divine timing of it all and how my hang up just gets in the way of my happiness. I won’t say always, but I will say mostly.
I’ve used this example so much, but when I first moved here I wanted a job and an apartment right away. If that happened I wouldn’t have been able to drive across the country with my mom when she really needed someone. The divine timing of it all coalesced so my (now former) company hired me at the end of August with a start date after Labor Day. Perfect! Momma planned to move the week before because that’s when her lease started. If the company hired me any sooner, my mother would have been up the creek without a paddle.
I also think about the friends of mine I just saw in New Hampshire. My friend had a crush on a guy who was unavailable, to put it simply. She looked for love but no one matched her. Then her crush became available and now they’re engaged. I’m not sure why I’m bringing that up except to say her crush was worth the wait. She tried to make it work with other people but it never did. She wanted to be with someone but it just wasn’t right. Her match was unavailable. Now, she and her match are one of the cutest couples I’ve had the pleasure to witness.
I know oftentimes my ego gets in the way. I have big huge desires I want to manifest IMMEDIATELY but the universe works a little slower sometimes. It’s lining things up so I’ll really be able to enjoy the sweetness of my desires. Because honestly, anything less just wouldn’t do. The timing though? I have no clue. I think in this moment it’s enough to feel at peace where I am and to let the universe work its magic.
I dream of a world where we accept divine timing. A world where we surrender time to the universe. A world where we know things are being arranged for us just so, and any earlier we would feel dissatisfied. A world where we don’t rush anything and rather move in the ease and flow of life. A world where we stay present and feel at peace, resting assured everything is happening for our best interest.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.