Sunday, October 23, 2011


The message I’ve been getting over and over this week is “Forgiveness.” The interesting thing is when the event happened to me I jumped from feeling sad to trying to let it go. I looked at my part in all of it, but I never felt the anger in between and I think that’s what’s kept me from forgiving. I’ve tried to be “spiritual” and say, “Oh it happened, it’s over now, it doesn’t matter.” But you know, it does matter. I stumbled across an amazing quote this week that emphasizes the point: “Whatever you can feel you can let go of.” Somehow I’ve resisted feeling angry because I didn’t think I had a right to be angry. So the resentment, bitterness, etc. has stuck with me because I never allowed myself to feel all my feelings about it.

This week the universe has very clearly indicated it’s time for me to forgive. If I want to move forward in my life, forgiveness is a must. Here’s the interesting thing about forgiveness – it’s never about the other person, it’s about me. I forgive so that I can move on, so I can let go of the issue. As I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again forgiveness is not saying what the other person did is right, mostly it’s saying “I release you and let it go.”

As much as I want to forgive there’s still a piece of me that wants the other person to apologize first. I want them to say, “I’m sorry, what I did was wrong.” But at this point in my maturation I know the apology isn’t necessary and most likely I’m not going to get it. So all I can do is really feel I’m ready to forgive and then do it. To help with this issue, I turn to my favorite EFT guy Brad Yates:

I forgive so I can create space in my life for something better to move in. I forgive so I can release the bitterness, the resentment, and bring in the love. I forgive because I remember other people are also flawed. I forgive because I’d rather live in love rather than anger or fear.

I dream of a world where we let ourselves feel all our feelings. A world where we know what we feel we can let go of. A world where we forgive ourselves and each other. A world where we know we may have been wronged but we can always move past it.

Another world is not only possible it’s probable.


  1. I agree that forgiveness has a lot to do with us, and it's something we must do to be able to move on, but I don't know that I'd say it's NEVER about the other person. This sounds ridiculous, but there's a quote from (brace yourself) Buffy the Vampire Slayer that has always stuck with me: "To forgive is an act of compassion. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it."

    We need to be able to forgive people in order to release our anger/sadness/etc., but I think just as much, we need to be able to forgive people because they require our forgiveness. It's part of what it means to be one of several billion humans in this world - we're all in this together. Even if it doesn't seem like someone needs it, or that they're sorry, or that they even care whether or not we forgive them, I think there is a lot of power in demonstrating compassion and showing forgiveness anyway.

    Great post, thanks for making me think. :)

  2. Interesting. Thanks for your comment -- I can definitely see how forgiveness is also an act of compassion.