All is Well

I didn't sleep well last night so I'm recycling this blogpost from March 2014. It's a message I need to hear and I'm sure others do as well. It's a letter to me from my higher power. I'm defining my higher power as an unconditionally loving entity.

I love you. All is well. Your mind is caught up in many things – this and that – a lot of dramas that make life interesting, but in the end they don’t matter. All is well. All is love. Everything is working out the way it’s supposed to. Even your difficulties will pass eventually as you are progressing through your life, learning your lessons, and come more into the fullness of your being.

What a great photo, right? Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash.

Do not worry about how things will work out; just know they will work out. Do not live in the future where nothing is certain, nothing is guaranteed, and instead enjoy this moment of your life because there will never be another one like it. The future will take care of itself if you take care of yourself. Keep your thoughts optimistic and keep focusing on Me.

There are many things to distract you from realizing your goal, but remember the point of your life is not to acquire fame and wealth. Or kids and a partner. The point of your life is move closer to Me, toward spirit, toward love, toward the universe. The point of your life is to realize yourself not as you are now, but as you are meant to be – an incarnation of a cosmic entity. You are a divine and magnificent being full of wonder and love. Do not let yourself get bogged down by the trappings of human life because they too are an expression of Me.

You are on a path of love, of light, of truth. When you recall that, everything else will slip away because all is well. All is love. I love you and I am with you, now, forever, and always.

I dream of a world where we remember all is well. A world where we keep our minds pointed toward spirit. A world where we take care of ourselves and each other. A world where we detach from the dramas of today because we remember they, too, will pass. A world where we live in the fullness of our being because we know all is well.

Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.

Life's Promises

For the past few weeks, maybe longer, resentment has burned in my belly as I've seethed at the circumstances of my life. Where are all the things I was promised? The riches, the partner, the good health? The refrain in my head is, “I'm 33! I'm not supposed to feel this way! I'm supposed to have more energy than this!” And then I ask myself, “Says who?”

It's a good question. Who told me life is supposed to be one way or another? Who said we're all promised wealth, health, and partnership if we desire partnership? When I think about it, I likely picked up that story from the media, which praises a life of luxury, or from someone trying to sell me something. Someone who promised me all my dreams would come true if I purchased their course or their book.

What are my life's promises? I'd like to read the contract again. Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash.

When I look at my spiritual philosophy, my teacher never said life would be easy, filled with sunshine and roses. In fact, he praised difficulties as they become the fodder for spiritual development. He said, “Human beings have been drifting along through constant clash and cohesion amidst endless waves of physical and psychic diversities.” That means at times we'll encounter strife and at others we'll encounter harmony. It's unrealistic to think life will be easy all the time, because it won't. That's the nature of being alive.

I also think about what was actually promised to me, which is that I'll move closer to the divine. That's it. My teacher said, “Knowingly or unknowingly everyone is moving around [the Supreme entity]. Everyone is bound to move ... This movement is a natural propensity born out of love for [the Cosmic Consciousness].” We keep moving closer and closer until eventually we unify with that Cosmic entity, according to my spiritual tradition. But nowhere is it written I'll be thin, rich, pretty, and happily married.

When I take that perspective, I feel more at ease. It also makes all of my positive experiences even more precious. Nothing is promised to me, which gives me reason to cherish laughing with a friend or enjoying good food. Nothing is owed to me so it's a privilege I'm able breathe freely or walk unaided. I can't even count on the earth beneath my feet remaining solid, as a 3.5-magnitude earthquake reminded me the other day. Any thing can happen at any time, both good and bad. There are no guarantees in life other than once born we will die. For the time in between I'd like to see the good things in my life as gifts, to not take them for granted because they are not foregone conclusions.

I dream of a world where we realize there is no contract that stipulates we'll all have health and wealth. A world where we realize there aren't “supposed to's” or how we “should” be as people or what we “should” experience. A world where we remember life didn't promise us anything and that means what we go through is all the more precious.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

An Active Participant in My Fate

I think it's pretty clear I want to be famous. Not “get my picture taken while eating a hamburger in a car” famous, but “win awards and have people share my content” famous. I know fame doesn't make anyone happy, I know the goal of my life is not fame, I know aiming for fame goes against all of my spiritual beliefs, and yet it's still here.

I've wrestled with this aspect of myself for decades trying to reason with it, spin it, battle it, push it away. But it's still here. On Wednesday, I listened to a radio show loosely about surrender and I burst into tears because I finally accepted this part of me. To surrender means to stop fighting and I stopped fighting this aspect of myself. I also started journaling about it, asking why I care so much.

This picture is perfect. Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash.

I seek fame because I want to prove myself, I want to showcase my “enough-ness.” I spoke with a friend about this and he suggested I make a list of all the ways I'll finally be enough. I'll be enough when _____. I made my list: “I'll be enough when I'm a bestselling author. I'll be enough when I go on Oprah. I'll be enough when a celebrity retweets me.” I kept going until I reached the point when I wrote, “I'll be enough when I feel worthy.”

As if to hammer the point home, I listened to another radio show by Nancy Levin, who used to be the events coordinator at Hay House before she transitioned into writing and coaching. To paraphrase, she said nothing on the outside will make you feel worthy if you don't feel worthy on the inside. I know this. In fact, I've written this. But when I look back at my post on self-worth from nearly nine years, I hear a lot of judgment. A lot of dismissing. I didn't honor my desire then or now.

When I look at the basic philosophy of my spiritual tradition, I have more perspective. The philosophy states we take everything and channel it toward the divine. It sounds like a lovely sentiment, but what does that actually mean? I'm not sure I know, but what I'm starting to understand is I can't run from anything, including my desire for fame. I can't escape anything. Maybe to use everything as a vehicle toward my unification with a power greater than myself means first that I have to accept what is here in a loving, compassionate way.

This blogpost deals with my desire for fame, but the concept is applicable to anything. It could be the part of ourselves that's scared of others, or is greedy, or ashamed, or whatever. We can't pretend that side doesn't exist as much as we'd like that to be the case. We have to work with what's here in order to have any power over it. I've likely used this quote before, but Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you’ll call it fate.” I'd rather be an active participant in my fate and the only way to do that it seems is to stop running from the things I don't like.

I dream of a world where we accept all parts of ourselves with compassion. A world where we realize just because we don't like something doesn't mean it goes away. A world where we embrace our inherent tendencies and still work to transform them into something else. A world where we channelize them toward something greater than ourselves.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.

Internalized "-Isms"

This week I've contemplated the internalization of “-isms” such as racism, sexism, and classism. These are the ways that we've accepted our inferior or superior status. For me, I've realized how much the way I view writing and reading is tied to patriarchy. And maybe intellectualism. I like women's fiction, also called chick lit. Think Bridget Jones's Diary or Confessions of a Shopaholic. Those aren't my favorite books, but I mention them because Hollywood turned them into movies so they're more well-known.

I feel a sense of shame mentioning chick lit is my favorite genre because it's looked down upon. It's not serious or somehow “worthy.” In Joanna Russ' book How to Suppress Women's Writing, she mentions the various ways women are discouraged from writing. It's assumed women didn't write the things they did, or they channeled something outside of themselves, or they are judged more harshly for writing about the same things as men. In other cases, women are told they shouldn't have written the things they wrote. There's a notion certain subjects are more acceptable and worthy of acclaim than others, and wouldn't you know it, those topics are most often addressed by men.

Maybe my taste is influenced by an "ism." Photo by Rey Seven on Unsplash.

Love stories by women and for women are disparaged. I've internalized that viewpoint so much that a part of me doesn't want to tell you I'm writing a love story because it's not serious enough. It's no Moby Dick, it's not the next Great American Novel, and a part of me worries what other people will think of me. I'm not looking for reassurance here, I mention all this to demonstrate how subtle “-isms” are. Until I read Russ' book, it didn't occur to me that perhaps my perspective on women's writing, including my own, was skewed by patriarchy and sexism. I didn't question why working on my book felt a bit like a furtive teenager stealing liquor from her parents' stash.

My spiritual teacher says, “In the existential sphere there cannot be any sort of complex, and our social order should be such that there remains no room for any complex. We have to make such a social order and we have to make it immediately without any loss of time.”

By complex he means inferiority complex, superiority complex, or fear complex. To paraphrase, he says we are all divine children of God, no one lesser, and no one greater. I'm not doing myself any favors by thinking the things I'm writing about are drivel because they primarily interest women. It's more helpful for me to address not only the obvious forms of “-isms,” but also the subtler, concealed ones as well. Only then can we create a world we wish to see.

I dream of a world where we examine the ways we're contributing to “-isms” internally. A world where we question why we think certain things are true. A world where we recognize and work toward the notion no one is better or worse than any one else.

Another world is not only possible, it's probable.