Here’s the thing. I used to behave as if not only was I an actor in this play called Life, but also the director, stage manager and producer. I thought I was everything. I thought I was all those roles. I thought I was in charge of who my romantic lead was, how long the show would run, and how much money I could make, but I’m not.
It used to bother me thinking I was the Universe’s plaything, like a rag doll that gets tossed about. I didn’t want to be just an actor. I wanted to be in charge. I wanted to be autonomous and make things happen. Here’s the funny, paradoxical truth though. The more I’ve come to embrace my life as just an actor, the more I’ve relinquished control essentially, the more the play runs smoothly. The more I end up getting what I want. It may not be when I want or how I thought it would turn out, but it happens anyway. People are probably tired of hearing this, but it took me a full year to get my current job and it’s better than what I anticipated. I’m getting paid $8,000 more than I would have asked for. When I tried to be the director during that process of applying for jobs all I accomplished was feeling frustrated and upset.
Here’s the other funny, paradoxical truth. I feel more at peace, more calm, more serene when I do my part as an actor. When I take inspired action and leave the rest up to my higher power. When I say, “God, I want this but I’m letting you take the reins.” I am a former control freak admitting it feels good when I let my higher power be in charge. I’m confessing I feel a sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Because I get to live in lala land and dance through meadows while someone else worries about the details. All that’s required of me is to show up and say my lines.
Since the Universe didn’t hand me a script for my life, I have to rely on my intuition to guide me. And as Abraham Hicks would say, move toward what makes you feel good. Or at least what makes you feel better; that’s when you know you’re heading in the right direction.
All of this is a long-winded way of saying I thought I was in control of my life but I’m not. Like an actor, I get to make suggestions to the director, but ultimately someone else is calling the shots. And you know? I’m ok with that because my higher power usually wants more for me than I want for myself.
I dream of a world where we all show up and play our parts. A world where we revel in our roles and let intuition be our guide. A world where we relinquish control to the Universe knowing everything is taken care of. A world where we let the Universe be the director.
Another world is not only possible, it’s probable.